The Big Political Debate
By Best in Moderation
Ok folks, we did it. We're out of the woods, we can talk politics again, and just in time, because one of the biggest and most formative political debates will take place right here, on this page, in just a moment.
I am asking you today to weigh in on the most divisive political divide in humanity's history, where one side calls the other violent rampaging savages, and the other calls the other freeloading lazy knuckledraggers.
I am of course referring to the first ever political debate between Hunters and Gatherers.
Yes, we've been political animals for as long as there is recorded history, and it all began right here.
See, the Gatherers like to claim to be the first, foraging around their little camps like noob minecraft players punching trees and building shelters out of dirt. They espouse an agenda of cultivating crops where possible, trading where not, and generally not being a dick to one another, because then they might pee in your milk. They believe in Medicare for all, which is funny seeing as there is no medicine yet, but if there was I'm sure they would want it equally distributed to those who need it. And they want the government (which also doesn't exist but some people probably pretended it did) to take care of the poor, which they all were as they had no money. They were for equal rights for all, since again, those didn't exist yet either. It was rather easy to be for giving people stuff when stuff didn't exist.
The Hunters, by contrast, figured that the best way to have a shelter, food and urine-free milk was to wait until someone made those things and then take them for themselves. It seemed logical, and if you couldn't thrive in that kind of society, well then you just weren't working hard enough (stealing things from those working hard). They believe in the right to bare arms (sleeves still being a long way away from being invented) and use those arms for hunting animals, they swear, not for shooting people. If they do find something that can be used as medicine they'd rather keep it for their families, who would call it a hoax and shove soapstone up their rectums instead.
Anyway, these two parties are in great conflict with one another, and despite most people saying that a combination of the two (or even perhaps an entirely different approach) might be better, they ARE THE ONLY CHOICE, DON'T YOU GET IT? UGH, JUST THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY ALREADY!*
Please discuss who you'd chose and why below.
* Note: votes were very popular among the Gatherers, as they too did not yet exist.
Ok folks, we did it. We're out of the woods, we can talk politics again, and just in time, because one of the biggest and most formative political debates will take place right here, on this page, in just a moment.
I am asking you today to weigh in on the most divisive political divide in humanity's history, where one side calls the other violent rampaging savages, and the other calls the other freeloading lazy knuckledraggers.
I am of course referring to the first ever political debate between Hunters and Gatherers.
Yes, we've been political animals for as long as there is recorded history, and it all began right here.
See, the Gatherers like to claim to be the first, foraging around their little camps like noob minecraft players punching trees and building shelters out of dirt. They espouse an agenda of cultivating crops where possible, trading where not, and generally not being a dick to one another, because then they might pee in your milk. They believe in Medicare for all, which is funny seeing as there is no medicine yet, but if there was I'm sure they would want it equally distributed to those who need it. And they want the government (which also doesn't exist but some people probably pretended it did) to take care of the poor, which they all were as they had no money. They were for equal rights for all, since again, those didn't exist yet either. It was rather easy to be for giving people stuff when stuff didn't exist.
The Hunters, by contrast, figured that the best way to have a shelter, food and urine-free milk was to wait until someone made those things and then take them for themselves. It seemed logical, and if you couldn't thrive in that kind of society, well then you just weren't working hard enough (stealing things from those working hard). They believe in the right to bare arms (sleeves still being a long way away from being invented) and use those arms for hunting animals, they swear, not for shooting people. If they do find something that can be used as medicine they'd rather keep it for their families, who would call it a hoax and shove soapstone up their rectums instead.
Anyway, these two parties are in great conflict with one another, and despite most people saying that a combination of the two (or even perhaps an entirely different approach) might be better, they ARE THE ONLY CHOICE, DON'T YOU GET IT? UGH, JUST THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY ALREADY!*
Please discuss who you'd chose and why below.
* Note: votes were very popular among the Gatherers, as they too did not yet exist.
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