Floggings will continue until the mood lightens up
OK, let's lighten up people. Q: Why are there 239 beans in a bowl of bean soup? A: One more would make it too farty. Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other hunter calls 911. “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a gunshot. The hunter comes back on the phone: “OK, now what?” A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” Furious, she sits down next to a man and says, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go up there and tell him off. Go on—I’ll hold your monkey for you.” “I failed to make the chess team because of my height.” “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” “I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast all day.’ So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.” “I installe...
