"Be ye wise as serpents and innocent as doves."
This morning I read a letter to Miss Manners about someone who visited what she thought was her best friend, only to be harassed throughout most of the visit by the friend's Trumpie cousin. The complaint was that Fried refused to defend "GR" against Cousin's verbal abuse, and didn't make a good apology for letting it go on. Her question was: should she be forgiving, or approach this "friendship" more cautiously from now on. I voted for caution; here is what I had to say:
"In the Christian lefty blogs I like to read elsewhere, the authors maintain that those who have suffered mistreatment in church should not forgive their abusers until genuine restitution has been made by the church as an organization. That is, preachers or staffers who embezzle money, or molest women or children, should be summarily fired and arrested and the victims should receive counseling for their pain and suffering. The same rule applies here. GR should not hand Hostess forgiveness like candy, but cool off this 'friendship' until she can be sure she will face less haranguing from Cousin in the future.
"MM is right; Hostess really did put GR in an outrageous spot. Good hosts do not let guests give or receive this kind of treatment."
When do we think we should tender the olive branch, or keep our guard up?
Posted by Jennifer A. Nolan
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