Candyland!

 T.S. Eliot famously wrote, "April is the cruelest month."  I can't argue with that.  April is the month where my birthday falls, with irritating regularity, right in the middle of Passover --a week-long Jewish holiday during which I'm not permitted to eat anything with yeast in it.  Which includes cake.  I ask you, is that fair?  Nope, it's matzoh meal for this boy!  And I grew up with that going on while the gentiles got Easter, with jolly eggs and chocolate bunnies and candy, candy and more candy.

But it gets worse.  Y'see, here in Cleveland, we have many things of which to be proud.  The world-renowned Cleveland Orchestra.  Museums out the wazoo.  The Cleveland Clinic.  

And the biggest Goddamn candy store in the entire country.


B.A. Sweetie is a genuine candy warehouse.  It's so big, it takes hours to thoroughly tour the place.  It's candy gone absolutely friggin' nuts!  And, yes, they have nuts, too.  The place has over two hundred varieties of soda pop.  Really weird soda pop.   Just about every possible flavor you can imagine, and some you might have a nightmare about. Like Toe-Nail Fungus flavored soda.   Pork soda. 



And candy?  Candy like you wouldn't believe!





 There's an entire section devoted entirely to jelly beans!


Why is this cruel?  Because I'm diabetic!  

I tell ya, just thinking about it makes me want to drink this:


So what candies are you going to enjoy this Easter?

 AlextheKay is really jealous! 

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