"What the hell were you doing in the HOSPITAL??!!!"

 The first time I was hospitalized, I was a wee lad who was foolish enough to run at the edge of a cement swimming pool.  I plead, um, okay, stupidity.


Bam!  Diagnosed with a concussion on a family vacation.  I had to stay in the hospital while my siblings went to an amusement park.  (I still resent this, and will someday have my revenge.)

But I grew older and wiser, and the next time I was hospitalized, at 11 years of age, it really was not my fault the car ran me over.  My bicycle was ruined.  Also, my wrist was shattered, and doesn't work quite right to this very day.  But my father sued the hell out of the guy, so that's all right!


Then after the usual middle-age bouts with small problems like cancer and diabetes, I hit the big kahuna!


Yes, an actual Brain Tumor!  A "pituatary adenoma."  Betcha can't say that five times fast.

But I wasn't through yet.  I got a pacemaker, so now I am (unoffically and sort of) a Cyborg!  Just imagine my stunningly handsome face on the top of this little number:


But life still wasn't interesting enough for me, so the last three times I've been in the hospital were caused by precipitous drops in my blood pressure.  The theory is that I have a gastric bleed.  But in three trips to the hospital, they've never found the damn thing.  


So that's why I wasn't here for school that past few days, guys.

How about all of you?  Tell us about your hospital stays!

--Alex the (still here, somehow or other!) Kay










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