SEE IT: Right-wing activist wants to sue the NFL because its halftime show ‘put me in danger of hell fire’
Shakira and her hips will have to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth if right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire gets his way.
The controversial evangelist figures a settlement of $867 trillion would be fair compensation for the “crotch shots” conservative viewers were forced to endure.
“I think we ought to sue,” he said after Sunday’s showdown between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs. “Were there any warnings before that Super Bowl halftime show?”
According to Daubenmire, the mid-game performance, which featured scantily clad dancers including Lopez, who did a pole dance, could have caused young boys to get horny.
“Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son, whose hormones are getting ready, just starting to operate, were there any warnings that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?” he raged.
The video was posted on Right Wing Watch and Patheos Wednesday morning.
It wasn’t just people’s young sons that Daubenmire worried might be affected by all the sexiness. The 67-year-old former coach fears that seeing half-naked people dancing could dictate how he spends eternity, which in his opinion, should go before an earthly judge.
“I think we ought to go sit down in the courtroom and as present this as evidence of how, whoever is keeping me from getting into the kingdom of heaven,” Daubenmire steamed. “Could I go into a courtroom and say viewing what you put in that screen put me in danger of hell fire?”
According to Daubenmire, he had no way of knowing what to expect from megastars J.Lo and Shakira, whose heavily promoted halftime performance was announced in September.
“You didn’t tell me I was going to watch it,” he said. “You just brought it into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were going to be crotch shots!”
According to the former coach, the show’s producers assume people would know Lopez is “an expert in crotch shots.”
Daubenmire finds it unfair that he can be discriminated against, in his opinion, when social media stops right-wingers from discriminating against others.
“That’s discriminatory against the values I have in my house — you can’t just do that,” he said. “They won’t even let you talk about homos on Facebook. I want to sue them. I want to sue them for about $867 trillion dollars.”
On Monday, the right-wing pundit posted a Facebook follow-up where he doubled-down on his desire to sue. In that video, Daubenmire claimed he didn’t actually watch Sunday’s halftime show, but he went back later to view video that included the “crotch shots” he found so upsetting.
“I’ve been pondering all day the debauchery of last night’s Super Bowl halftime, which by the way, I didn’t even have it come into my house, I turned it off,” he confessed. “Because of past Super Bowls, I knew what it was going to be like.”
Daubenmire is looking for a lawyer who will aid him in a class-action lawsuit that could target the NFL, Super Bowl halftime show sponsors and his cable provider.
According to Daubenmire, he wouldn’t parade his “two very attractive daughters” around town in outfits resembling those worn by J.Lo and Shakira Sunday.
Other videos posted by Daubenmire, who proselytizes for Pass the Salt Ministries, include rants about Barack Obama’s birth certificate and praise for President Trump’s position on abortion.
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