Juicy Conspiracy Theory Time

Conspiracy theories are fun, easy and, apparently, politically effective. It was great to question Obama’s birth certificate. If I recall correctly, at one time about 20% of Americans actually believed he was a Kenyan, not a US citizen. That was a hoot. we're still waiting for our president to release the evidence his hired detectives found that proves Obama was and still is a Kenyan.

And of course there’s the delightful Pizzagate child sex-trafficking conspiracy by Hillary and other allegedly demented democrats. One yahoo even showed up at the pizza parlor with a gun to free the innocent little children chained to the wall in the basement. There was much righteous outrage and entertainment all around. Darned slippery Hillary. She got away once again. Drat, foiled again. Call out the FBI for yet another investigation (not a witch hunt)! I'm sure someone left fingerprints in the pepperoni.


This election is going to be fun
The New York Times is reporting on a newly hatched conspiracy theory that first surfaced on January 10 of this year. The NYT writes:

“WASHINGTON — The first version of the conspiracy theory was hatched on Twitter last Friday, Jan. 10. 
Don’t rule out that the reason Pelosi hasn’t sent impeachment to the Senate is to hurt Warren and Sanders, and to help Biden,” Ari Fleischer, a former White House press secretary for President George W. Bush, tapped out on his iPad. “By timing the trial so it takes place during the Iowa lead-up, she has leverage over the liberals.” Mr. Fleischer’s message was retweeted 1,400 times. 
Seven days later, Mr. Fleischer’s theory that Speaker Nancy Pelosi was attempting to influence the Democratic primary — for which there is no evidence — was being promulgated by President Trump.”


(dark, brooding mood music in background) 
Trump’s Entire Worldview Is a Nut Job Conspiracy Theory 
“Why is everybody always picking on me?”



My conspiracy theory
Speaking of fun conspiracy theories, I hatched one of my own a few weeks ago regarding the killing of the Iranian general in Iraq by a US drone strike. Since I first outed the evil conspiracy on Jan.3 on my juggernaughty whopper of a blog, I've seen it repeated twice on, ALL RISE!, cable news, BE SEATED!

Anyway, my conspiracy theory went like this: The president ordered the US military to kill the Iranian general when they did to deflect public attention away from damaging impeachment-related documents that came from two different federal court document releases. The logic is simple: The president (and the Russians) love to deflect public attention from bad news, so they do and say things that deflect the press and public attention to soften the impact of bad news on the president.

See, that's got more fact and logic in it than the Kenyan citizen conspiracy nuttery, or the amazingly wonderful Pizzagate, or even Ari Fleischer’s brand new and fully unhinged Pelosi-is-shafting-Warren-and-Sandersgate.

So, there you have it conspiracy theory fans. Conservative conspiracy theories tend to be unhinged, i.e., untethered to reality, facts and logic. By contrast, my conspiracy theories tend to be hinged, i.e., tethered to reality, facts and logic.

(sound of bell ringing)

OK class, recess time. Go out and play nice.

And, HEY class, I wrote this, not Snowflake. BTW, I'm Germaine.

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