I'm Magnetic!!

A Washington Post opinion piece is of some interest:
I remember clearly the moment it began: right after my first covid shot.

I was going through security at the airport, and I set off the metal detector. Annoyed, I removed my gun from its holster and put it on the conveyor belt. I still beeped. I removed my machete, nunchucks and grenade launcher and put them through the X-ray machine. But I still beeped!

I had become magnetic.

The next morning, as I was eating my oatmeal, my spoon stuck to the roof of my mouth. I might have choked, but fortunately the spoon was jarred loose when the magnetic force slammed me against the refrigerator, where I remained suspended until family members were able to pull me down.

Things really got weird after my second dose. Strolling back to my car from the vaccine clinic, I suddenly found myself plastered to the grill of an idling UPS truck. I took a walk in the woods to get away from all the metal, but I got lost: My compass stopped pointing north and pointed only at me. Worst of all, I discovered it’s true that opposites attract. Walking through the Capitol one day on my way to a hearing, I turned a corner and was suddenly joined at the hip with Marjorie Taylor Greene. Awkward!  
Oh yeah? Tell that to the cast-iron wok that is currently stuck to my left shoulder.

These “scientists” are the same ones who tell us the vaccine doesn’t implant microchips in us and does not cause our bodies to “interface” with 5G cellular towers, as the osteopath Tenpenny professes. Yet I canceled my Verizon data plan shortly after my second dose, because I am able to stream video through my vaccination site. I was never good at trivia before, but now I blurt out every answer while watching “Jeopardy!” — in Siri’s voice! Explain that, CDC.

There you have it vaccine fans. We're all magnetic now and can stream the internet through the vaccination sites in our arms. People who refuse to get vaccinated are still regular non-magnetics, the uncool ones.

I wonder how much electricity I could generate if I stand in coils of copper and spin myself around. Hm. Anyone have some big copper coils I could borrow for an experiment?


By Germaine, the one with the inquiring mind

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