Why Americans can't speak English

 George Bernard Shaw is usually credited with saying, "America and Britain are two countries separated by a common tongue."  And, as usual, the old curmudgeon was right.  We almost speak the same language , but not quite.  

For example, in Merrie Olde England, a "boot" is the storage area in the back of a car.  In America, it's a shoe.  

So this is a trunk in a boot.  

And this is boots in a trunk.

Then there's foodstuffs.  How about some biscuits?  Here in the Yewnited States, they look like this yere:

Whereas across the Briney, biscuits are these, best with tea:

Now, now, don't get pissed about it!  In America, these guys are getting pissed:

But in England, these guys are having a MUCH better time getting royally pissed!

Seems like the English are winning this competition.  After all, the dress this lady is wearing is a jumper:

But here in the States, someone got too pissed and he's the USA version of a jumper!

Help me out!  Add to the list!  And never forget:

  AlextheKay promises not to jump all over you!