Dose of Sunday Religion: Getting Satanic Religions Straight -- The Blue Cheese Dressing Test

At present, there are at least two satanic religions in the US. The two seem to have crossed paths and decided they don't like each other much. I financially support one of the two, The Satanic Temple (TST). Although TST is a recognized religion under US law, it is a group that fights in court to keep church and state separated. In essence, they fight in defense of secularism.

The other group, Church of Satan (COS), is a different beast. TST describes the bickering and differences that distinguish the two fine groups:

"In only six years, The Satanic Temple has become the primary religious Satanic organization in the world, with chapters internationally, and a number of high-profile public campaigns designed to preserve and advance secularism and individual liberties. The rise of The Satanic Temple has been met with an increase in commentary regarding what Satanism is as media outlets struggle to grasp how this upstart religion has begun to shift religious liberty debates with mere claims of equal access.

With unfortunate regularity, The Satanic Temple is confused with an earlier organization, the Church of Satan, founded by Anton Szandor LaVey in the 1960s, to the apparent chagrin of both. The Church of Satan expresses vehement opposition to the campaigns and activities of The Satanic Temple, asserting themselves as the only “true” arbiters of Satanism, while The Satanic Temple dismisses the Church of Satan as irrelevant and inactive. 

The Church of Satan dedicates a good deal of time offering disparaging commentary against The Satanic Temple’s activities on the assertion that “true Satanism” is apolitical, and whether or not they agree with any of our positions, they object nonetheless to what they see as a misappropriation of Satanism. In doing so, they fail to delineate the clear philosophical differences between the two organizations, and many people are unaware that the beliefs of the two aren’t merely interchangeable. Perhaps due to the popularity of The Satanic Temple, one is hard pressed to find the Church of Satan commenting on the philosophical schism between the organizations, instead opting to forward the notion that The Satanic Temple has merely stolen what they see as their brand, as well as their beliefs."

Although the print is small, the difference on the left, second from the bottom is the most important difference to keep in mind. That one indicates that COS believes that men who like blue cheese dressing are gay because the dressing smells a pile of unwashed jock straps. That is clearly something to keep in mind. Once one understands that difference, one can keep the two groups straight when either group pops up.

One can only wonder how Mr. LaVey determined the blue cheese dressing rule for male sex orientation determination. Sniffing piles of sweaty jockstraps and comparing that with various blue cheese dressings seems like a reasonable analytical protocol. Does it work for non-binaries? What about Transexuals who morph from women to men? So many questions, so little data.

Well, there you have it, religion fans, that's your weekly Sunday dose of religion from Germaine. Enjoy!

(Jeez, pick, picky, well, OK, biennial dose of religion, or whatever)

Church of Satan

(Hm, something just triggered this: I like bacon and 

hamburgers and my creepy neighbor has a doggie)