Sitting in the third stall

 

Mystique has requested that someone do a piece on outhouses. And considering myself something of an expert, I have decided to step up to the plate. So here it is: 

The first outhouse I ever built was out on the Plains, on a horse ranch in South Dakota, outside of Mobridge. Would have been either '62 or '63. The Smithsonian had sent about 30 of us out there to do a survey of old Native American remains, along a stretch of the Missouri scheduled to be inundated the following year by the Oahe Dam they were building. This was presented to us as a real privilege, available only to dedicated young archaeology students. When we got there we found our we'd been hired because the Sioux on the local rez refused to work any longer for the low wages we were getting. Fifty a week. With ten deducted for grub.

It was just a bare spot out on the Great Plains. So our first job was just setting up camp. We set the tents army style, in two rows with mess tables in between. And we built the outhouse using local materials, digging a cesspit first, to size, six foot deep. Then we cut poles for the framework, and wove green branches into the basket frame to provide a bit of privacy. Finally, a board door and a plank with five holes. We though a five holer was appropriate to the size of our crew. Didn't realize it at the time, but this was the old native way of building,up on the Plains, where boards were in short supply. So our little hut was precisely the same construction the people we were digging up had used to build their houses, 7-8 centuries before. You could tell by the post hole marks they left in the soil. 

Also, I realized immediately, what we had done was to build a natural orgone accumulator. Now  many of you folks are probably too young to even know about orgones, they don't teach this stuff any more. But I had studied up on my Wilhelm Reich in school. And he had developed a theory surrounding them, the natural emanations of the Primal Energy, the Life Force that animates us all. And Reich had designed an accumulator, with organic matter on the outer layer and metallic, something like tinfoil, on the inner layer. So that it would collect and trap orgones. The same way a Leyden jar will trap lightning in a jar. Anyway, we found out on the Plains we could just use the outer layer we'd woven, of fresh-cut green branches, and do away with the tinfoil. The resulting structure energized us just fine each morning. 

Want to step out from your morning ablutions full of fresh resolve, with a brightened outlook on life? I would suggest you follow these simple steps, given above, and build an orgone accumulator in your own back yard. Using locally cut materials of course. Instead of flushing, you just scatter a handful of lime in the hole when finishing up. Keeps it sanitary. Don't be surprised if you find lizards living in the walls. They like it there, and keep the flies down. Good outhouse mates.

I'm sure many of you have lots of outhouse lore to share. So don't be shy, okay? Have a seat and get started.
 
milo


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