The Bug Man Cometh!

Ever since my bout with stomach cancer some twenty years ago, I'm a guy who needs a mid-day nap.  Needn't be long;  twenty minutes is fine.  But it's my time.  I'm retired and when I get tired. I needs me nap!

I'm usually an amiable sumbitch.  Someone comes to the door, I'll usually answer it.  But I don't feel I'm obliged to.  It's my door, my property and my prerogative.  And, damn it, my nap!

So today, when somebody rang the doorbell, I just ignored it.  When it bonged twice more, I ignored it again.  And then the visitor starts pounding on the door.  Bam, bam, BAM!   



I can take a hint, too.  I dragged myself off my bed, stumbled down the stairs, opened the door and some guy I've never seen before is standing there with a big ol' shit-eating grin.  "Can I help you?" I mumbled.

"I'm the bug man," says he.


"You're the what now?" I replied.

"The bug man!  I work for your neighbors on both sides!  I'm the bug man!  I thought you might need my help!"

Finally figuring out what he's saying, I reply that I've contracted with Orkin for forty years.  I didn't bother to call him out for lying (neighbors on one side are dead, those on the other side get their Orkin treatment the same day I do).  He then wants to give me his sales pitch.  I get annoyed and let it show.  And he says, "Did I do something to upset you?"

"Yes!" I yelled.  "You didn't GO AWAY!"  And hurled the door shut in his face.

By now my daughter, who has also been trying to ignore the doorbell, is losing it, laughing like crazy.

And on the other side of the door, the hapless jerk is saying, "But I have a permit to go door to door here!"

So here's my question.  How do you feel about, how do you deal with, these door-to-door napwreckers?

  AlextheKay needs his rest!  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That Uplifting Tweet You Just Shared? A Russian Troll Sent It

Image
Here’s what Russia’s 2020 disinformation operations look like, according to two experts on social media and propaganda. By   DARREN LINVILL   &   PATRICK WARREN Internet trolls don’t troll. Not the professionals at least. Professional trolls don’t go on social media to antagonize liberals or belittle conservatives. They are not narrow minded, drunk or angry. They don’t lack basic English language skills. They certainly aren’t  “somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds,”  as the president once put it. Your stereotypical trolls do exist on social media, but the amateurs aren’t a threat to Western democracy. Professional trolls, on the other hand, are the tip of the spear in the new digital, ideological battleground. To combat the threat they pose, we must first understand them — and take them seriously. MORE: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/russia-troll-2020-election-interference-twitter-916482/ Posted by Jamie B.
Read more

The Nightmare Scenario That Keeps Election Lawyers Up At Night -- And Could Hand Trump A Second Term

Image
The Nightmare Scenario That Keeps Election Lawyers Up At Night -- And Could Hand Trump A Second Term   (Photo: Photos: Getty Images) Americans will almost certainly go to bed on Nov. 3 without knowing who won the presidential election. Since millions of people will vote by mail, constraints on time and resources will slow ballot counting into potentially a weeks-long process. Voting patterns suggest it’s likely that President  Donald Trump  could end Election Day in the lead in certain key states, only to be overtaken by Democratic opponent  Joe Biden  when more votes are tallied.  This could create a nightmare scenario during the three months stretching from Election Day to the Jan. 20 inauguration: a battle on the state and congressional level over who is the legitimate winner. This could include Congress reconvening on Jan. 6, presided over by Vice President  Mike Pence , with no consensus over its potential role in choosing the next president. This is arguably the most likely of th
Read more

Philosophical Question #14 – Lifestyle Choices

Image
Here is an interesting question in my list of philosophical questions: 1.) Should governments have penalties for those who live unhealthy lifestyles? A list of unhealthy lifestyles would include things like smoking, drinking, illegal drugs, prostitution, and other “vice” type activities. I guess the “government penalties” would be referring to monetary punishments, withholding medical treatments (insurance companies would love that), possibly imposing/regulating very high (exorbitant) prices on things considered unhealthy in order to cut down on their use, and other possibilities. 2.) Or, would you say that living an unhealthy lifestyle, likely resulting in a LOT of eventual personal pain and suffering, should be punishment enough for unhealthy lifestyles? When people make bad choices in life, often in their youth where ignorance and immediate gratification takes them over,  3.) Should a society be obligated to help "fix" them, by way of tax money?   Is that part of
Read more